Archive for March, 2013

Five years ago I knew the answer to that question. Actually, even last year, even though it was tested, I knew the answer to that question. Today however I don’t know the answer. When I started my major, I knew I wanted to teach and I knew history was what I wanted to teach. I love history with a passion and I wanted to instill that passion, like my 8th grade teacher Mr. Brown and my High School teacher Mr. Muldoon, had instilled in me. I was proud when I recieved my diploma and even prouder when I recieved my Master’s Degree.

When I first got my current job I was happy to have a job in social studies (not easy to get a job with that degree). My first year was challenging, but more on a personal level than a teaching level. Today however I no longer have the passion I once had about teaching. In fact today I hate it.

I have realized that in the US educational system, I am nothing more that an over qualified babysitter with student loans. What my students know, have learned, or even take from my classroom is less important than how  well they like being in my classroom. One complaint suddenly my ability to teach means nothing compared to how a student felt about me giving them detention for cussing me out.

When I was in school the every idea of cussing in front of a teacher, let alone talking about the party I attended or getting stoned was unheard of. I had respect for my teachers. I didn’t like all of them, actually hated the majority of them, but never disrespected them. They were adults yes, but the “Teacher” thing held something for me. I can’t even recall friends really acting disrespectfully in front of a teacher. Yeah sure there were occassional joking around, and giving subs shit, but not the teacher. We cussed in the halls, but when a teacher was around or we saw them coming down the hall, we quited down.

That is absent. Maybe it is the school in which I teach. I’m sure there are teachers out there who may read this who would be in shock about my descriptions of teaching today. However this is where I teach and this is what I am dealing with, and I no longer want to do it. My passion is gone as well as any joy I once had being a teacher. Two years ago I would have never said this, but today it is the only thing on my mind when I wake-up to leave for work: “MAN, I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE!!!”


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