The Ego soared through the open sky,

Happiness fluttered as it screeched,

Mice and men hid in shelter with the cry,

Peace and calmness both have been breached.


Words of hatred left us broken and scarred,

Borrowing deep within our head,

Bodies were left marked and charred,

No prayers needed for the dead.


They build only what he sees,

Images of a masked and mistaken man,

They are nothing more than dangling blank keys,

Image of himself hurts worse than the hand.


The mist of tears fill the souls with sorrow,

Please come back and say something kind tomorrow.

Open Mic Life

I take the stage with Beatnik snaps and golf clap applause.

The dim lights from the hanging bulbs of ole Saint Nick

expose more than just the cigarette smoke,

my soul is now on this stage for all to cut open and examine.

I am their frog,

hands and feet spread apart and pinned down,

a sacrificial Christ to the eyes of intellects and friends.

I begin my prose with the heat of exterior thought

and contemplation baking my skin.


Ginsberg, Whitman, and Lorca sit

at their corner table and suddenly they

wink at me in a freakish repetition. 

First Ginsberg, then Whitman, and then Lorca

only to be started again in that order.

I hope they like my prose.

I hope they feel my words in their souls. 

I think they like me,

but I hope they don’t… like me,

like me.

Kerouac, Mailer, and Hemmingway sit at the bar

slamming shots of whiskey and screaming

to the top of their lungs

that the world is full of shit,

but oh how they enjoy it so.


At another table Socrates sits and stares at his drink

Contemplating that first sip.

Plato writes down his every word,

or at least that’s what he tells everyone around him. 

Aristotle only watches the play unfold.


Elvis is in his chair unable to sit still while

Valens looks at his plane ticket. 

Morrison is busy writing and awaiting his turn

at the stage as the waitress swoons

over his mellow drink order.


Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington and the Roosevelt’s sit at their table

going over the mornings New York Times shaking their heads

with each one occasionally

standing up and screaming,

“Damn it, that’s not what I meant!”

In the back my friends from the past sit huddled around a large table. 

They drink beer from the tap, spark joints, chalk lines, and

smile at every girl that passes by. 

Across from them are my ex’s fighting over my words

each one swearing that my spoken devotion of love

is about them.


As I finish a silence fills the room. 

I look past the darkness and see that I am alone. 

The poets and rockers took their leave. 

The Presidents and writers have all gone home for the night. 

My friends found a better party to attend. 

the ex’s, long ago remembered the ass that I am and

left with new men holding them close.


The prose in complete,

the memories drained once again.

They will come back,

the next time I pick up the pen.

My Rant: Ok, I am going to piss off a lot of people with this one, but I’m alright with that because I feel that I have my facts to support me.

Tonight I was watching a news program and the topic was today’s March for Life in Washington. I am not going to take any side with this. I have made my opinions about abortion clear many times. I am not right wing on this issue. I do not support abortion, but I do believe that there should be exceptions, especially if the mother’s life is in danger. That’s my stance and now it is out of the way.

On the program was a lady who was at the march who had once been an executive at Planned Parenthood. She threw out a bunch of “facts” that really caught me off guard. It caught me so off guard that I rewound it twice so I could write them down and fact check them myself. One reason for doing so is because some of the things said not make sense to me, I did not believe, and I wanted to check it. After all this is a woman who now is against abortion and I assumed just off the bat that her views were skewed.

Over the past couple of years Planned Parenthood has been in the news. One reason was because of the horrid videos that were released by an undercover organization. Even though law suits were brought against the group (and I believe won in California) those were about the tactics used by the organization to get the videos, never once about the subject matter. In fact though PP denied such practices, the head of PP was forced to do a mea culpa and announe firings of employees whose “actions were not in line with the goals of Planned Parenthood.”

Of course the videos that were released enraged the Right Wing, especially those in the US Congress who wanted and still are pushing to stop an estimated $500 million that goes to PP annually. This of course has outraged the Pro-Choice and other liberal movers and shakers in the US, and you could see as much during the Women’s March this past Saturday (not to be confused with the one today)

Now of course the history of Planned Parenthood is rarely ever discussed, however it is important to know. PP was started by Margaret Sanger in 1916. Now it has been sold that it was a way to give women a choice and education about pregnancy. Ok, fine, however, what can not be refuted and is never mentioned by supporters of PP, are Sanger’s own views. Sanger was devoted to Eugenics. If don’t know what that is, it was the promotion of the perfect race (white, middle to upper class, protestant, etc). Eugenics spread through the Western world, including in the US, where state fairs held Eugenic competitions and winning families were awarded were certificates and had their names published in local papers. It quickly died out when Adolf Hitler came to power and took Eugenics to a very dark place (as if it wasn’t already dark enough).

As a supporter of Eugenics, Sanger did promote the ideas and did promote the limitation of the unfit being born. The sorted history behind this is not talked about, but it is cemented if fact. Many PP centers opened by Sanger in the American inner cities at the time did in fact do so to limit the “reproduction” of the unfit, and at the time and place, the unfit were African-Americans. Look up her own quotes on the subject and it is a look into any classic definition of racism. To go even further, but not to beat a dead horse, in 1926, she was a guest speaker at a KKK rally.

So back to what I watched today. Planned Parenthood, especially in light of resent controversies, has pushed back by providing lists of services they provide, and also argue that abortion is the “least” of their services. However the woman I watched tonight refuted those claims. And, again, I doubt her. So I fact checked myself. If anything I provide can be refuted please do so because I would be interested to read what you provide.

1. Planned Parenthood does not provide Mammograms. I checked this and it is actually TRUE. There is not one PP site that has a licensed mammogram machine or a person to operate it. I even watched a segment of The View where one of the hosts (the red head) actually admitted that she was wrong on the mammogram belief.

2. The major revenue for PP comes from abortion. I checked this and again it is true. PP provides up to 330,000 abortions annually. In fact PP has line item quotas for sites to meet abortion numbers.

3. Planned Parenthood does not provide prenatal care. True and not true. Yes, they do provide initial care such as hand outs and flyers, and a initial regimen of prenatal vitamins, but they do not provide full to term prenatal care.

4. Planned Parenthood does not provide birthing abilities or birthing care. Again, true. In fact it’s own annual report of 2013-2014 does not even mention “Pregnancy services”

So what does it provide? Well it does provide contraceptives. It provide handouts and fliers for prenatal care. It does provide early prenatal care vitamins (limited as they are). And it does provide STD testing.

According to the website PP only provides 3% of national abortions. However, based on their annual report, last year of 327,000 abortions. During that same year, according to the CDC, there were 655,000 abortions conducted. So based solely on the math, the 3% is a farce to say the least, and it is more closer to 50%. Now taken all other services it provides (again, keeping in mind it DOES NOT provide mammograms, prenatal care, or birthing care), tell me again that its annual budget does not rely on abortion services.

Let me make it clear. I have issues with PP because of its founders sorted history, but I am not a woman, so my knowledge of what it does is very limited. Does it provide services to women? Yes it does and I do not deny that aspect. However, it does not provide what we are told that it does, and a simple fact check proves that. I did not believe the woman I watched tonight, but nothing she said was proved wrong based on my own fact checking.

Again, I am not a woman, however if I am being sold on an organization that is supposed to provide care that it actually does not provide, then I would have to question it’s real purpose.

Feel free to attack me, but if you do, I only ask that you do so with facts and not passions. If you can refute the facts that I found (taken from factcheck.org and a variety of online newspaper articles…none of which were the obvious conservative flap trap) I am willing to read and listen.



My Rant: All day long I have watched the attacks on the comments made by Mr. Trump. Oh, don’t think I am going to defend them, because I’m not. I have not hid my feelings about this man and the idea of him as President of this great nation. He is a cancer within the Republican party. His comments, his stupidity is hurting the party. He says it and the party gets labeled with it. Most RATIONAL conservatives don’t think like him or agree with him, but because he gets all the media attention, the party gets labeled with his stupidity.

However, I will say this, should anyone be surprised. Should anyone be surprised of rhetoric like this and the support from thousands, maybe even millions? I’m not. Words like his a born for concern, or more specifically, fear. When the rational no longer exists, we tend to turn to the irrational, and that is exactly what Trump represents, the irrational.

And where does this come from? It comes from a lack of leadership. A lack of leadership to make the nation feel secure and safe. Say what you want about Bush, and most of it I’d probably agree with you on, but after 9/11 you did not see the type of rhetoric like you are seeing after the attack in California last week, expressed now on a national stage by a JOKE running for president. Oh, the LEFTIST blogs and reporters sought out every “anti-Muslim” action they could find, but it was so few and far between that it wasn’t worth even reporting. A few Arabic shops vandalized, I remember a protest in front of a Mosque in Detroit, but nothing.

I argue that you didn’t see it because the fear wasn’t there. Immediately after the attack the oft replayed video of Bush with his arm wrapped around the fire chief was seen by nearly every American. You remember it. Bush is giving a speech and somewhere a fire fighter says, “we can’t hear you.” And on cue, Bush turns in the direction of the voice and says, “I can hear you (thunderous applause), and the men who knocked down these buildings will hear from all of us soon.” It was a moment captured, but it was a moment that spread. For anyone who felt fear, that moment aleiviated that fear. It made us believe that no matter what, Bush was on the job and retribution would come. Sure, we can look at the years following it and criticize, but at that moment, it was what was needed. Bush knew it, he knew the pulse of the nation, he knew fear and questions gripped the nation, and in a off handed, unscripted moment, he relieved the fear and answered the questions.

I’m not calling Bush one (his actions following 9/11 leave that in question), but great leaders know when they need to step up. They can feel the pulse of the nation and they know what is needed to make them feel assured that the fear they are feeling is not irrational, it is a perfect response to tragedy with no immediate answers to the question “Why.” And they know who to comfort them.

I remember as a kid when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. I remember sitting with my classmates in the cafeteria area of Whitehead Elementary School in Woodland. I remember the excitement I felt because ac school teacher,Christa McAuliffe, whose poster was on the door of my classroom, was going into space. I remember watching the shuttle go into space, and then the fireball, and the fear and sadness. Most of all, I remember that night sitting in font of my television listening to Ronald Reagan. Watch the video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEjXjfxoNXM), but if you don’t want to watch the whole thing fast forward to 2:10 of the video. Reagan knew the pulse of the nation, knew the importance of this flight for kids across the nation, knew that millions watched the tragic events live, and knew, just knew, he had to speak to them and tell them that everything was going to be ok, that the sadness and fear was rational, and that life is filled with great achievements and, yes, great loss.

On Sunday night, Obama spoke to the nation. It was my hope of hopes he would have a Bush, Reagan, FDR, Churchill, and so many great leaders moment. He didn’t. He failed…no, he utterly failed. He told American’s a lie, a lie that most American’s who have been paying attention for the past year, knew was a lie. He talked about his commitment to destroy ISIS, something he has said before, and has yet to follow through on. A year ago he referred to ISIS as a “JV Team.” He said that a week before they took the city of Mosul in Iraq. He said that as hundreds and thousands of Christians has been slaughtered. On the morning of the Paris attacks this president said that ISIS “was contained” and less than 6 hours later, an ISIS inspired death squad killed 132 people in Paris. In the speech he mentioned a coalition of 65 nations, but it’s a lie. Those 65 nations have done NOTHING to stop ISIS, because they continue to look to the US for leadership and determination. He mentioned the airstrikes and air campaign of the US, but that is a lie. We fly 6-15 sorties a day, with most of those jets returning to base without firing a single shot because the Rules of Engagement (ROE’s) are so damn strict. They can not fire if there is a possibility of a civilian death. They must warn targets before engaging. During the Gulf War in 1991, the US flew 1092 sorties a day and destroyed the infastructure of Iraq. During the Balkans, the US flew 650 sorties a day and destroyed every mode of defense. Our pilots have been told NOT to engage ISIS oil trucks (where they are getting 60% of their funding) for fear of creating an environmental issue.

What is worse is what his speech did include. During his speech, Ronald Reagan made it a point to address FREEDOM. Why? Because he knew damn well the USSR would find a way of throwing dirt on the US after the tragic events. “Oh look at the mighty US and its space program now.” Reagan however made sure that the US and World knew that FREEDOM allowed the creation of that program, it allowed and accepted the risks of that program, and that program would continue.

Obama’s speech was the opposite. Instead of assuring us in the Freedom’s we enjoy and that they would not be threatened by the actions of those who committed the deaths in California, he turned on us. He attacked those who would question radical Islam and made them the enemy. He pointed to every American who owns a guns, especially and AR-15, and blamed them. As president he is the defender of freedom, of the Constitution, but instead he spent 8 minutes of his 15 minute speech attacking the very freedoms he was elected to defend. There are so many LAW ABIDING Americans who own guns, including AR-15’s. And everyone of them who watched that speech were told they are what American’s should fear. Not the radicalized Muslim or the Islamic Group that inspired those killers, but the guns they used.

Want more proof of Obama’;s failure and, I’m sorry, BULLSHIT. It’s been two days since his speech and what has been done? Well, his Attorney General announced that it was investigating the school and teacher who reported a kid who had what looked like a bomb and threatened to file charges against “anyone whose anti-Islamic rhetoric” got out of control. Since she defines the rhetoric I guess after I post this I should expect a Federal Agent at my door in the morning. What haven’t we seen? We haven’t seen a full on engagement of our military. We haven’t seen our air attacks increased. We were told today that Obama is meeting with his advisors on “next steps” with ISIS. Well, guess what, those advisors (as seen in their testimony before Congress over the past 6 months) have already told us that they have placed countless “next step” ideas on the presidents desk and NOTHING have come from them. We also learned last week, for those who have been paying attention, that someone within the White House has been scrubbing military and intelligence reports by removing any mention of the rise of ISIS or the increasing threats by ISIS.

And so the result of his failure is what we are seeing in Trump and many others. No questions were answered. The fear was not alieviated, in fact, it was hieghtened. The answers that were given by Obama were lies wrapped in double speak that ended with attacks on two fundamental freedoms Americans enjoy. And his failure opened the door for the irrational ideas, answers, to gain a foot hold and support. If Obama had been strong and followed through with that strength in an attempt to show that he was “backing his shit up,” Trumps bullshit would be just that. When I heard Trump’s speech I shook my head. I shook it first because of the utter stupidity of it, but more so because of the applause he received after he said it. The utter stupidity of the electorate in this nation is a sad state of affairs. The Left who applauds the utter stupidity of Obama, Clinton, and Sanders, and the Right who cheers the utter stupidity of Trump. The problem I had with Obama’s speech is the same problem I have with Trumps. Both ended their speeches with attacks on Freedom.

When the Bill of Rights were first introduced, James Madison, the father of the Constitution, opposed them. When you read that you quickly move towards attack mode, but his rationality for opposing them have been proven right time and time again in US history. His reason was this, “In times of strife and national threats, the first thing that will be attacked are these Amendments.” John Adams during the Quasi-War with France signed the Alien and Sedition Acts. Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War suspended Habeas Corpus. Woodrow Wilson during WWI jailed journalists and politicians who spoke critically of the war. Franklin Roosevelt during WWII interned Japanese Americans. George W. Bush after 9/11 signed the USA PATRIOT ACT. And now under Obama we see an attack on the 1st and 2nd Amendments. And, of course Trump, like or not, attacking the 1st Amendment’s non establishment of religion by making a religion a basis of immigration.

In a world of danger and fear, leadership is needed most, and when the leaders fail, it allows the irrational to take charge of the situation. We have seen this so many times in history. I am not equating Trump with him, but Hitler rose to power through the same circumstance. Fear and lack of leadership allowed him to use those fears to acquire the power he desired. Trump’s rhetoric isn’t leadership, it is tapping in the the scariest parts of the human psyche and using it to his advantage. He is the worst kind of politician, the one who continues to throw logs on the flames of fear to his own gain. And sadly, because we lack a true leader, he can get away with it.

Deal With It

My Rant: CNN Reporting: Three white males probably tied to white supremist groups. Fox News reporting: Can not call this terrorism right now, but all the indicators point to it. Who got it right? The lying FAUX News.

The question is why? CNN and MSNBC focused on the guns and the masks and decided it had to be white racists? What about the early reports made them draw that conclusion? That only white racists used assault rifles and wear masks? Hmmm…have they not seen a SINGLE SOLITARY STORY that shows a terrorist. They are always holding an AK-47 (assault rifle) and are wearing masks. And more importantly, this took place at a holiday party? What about a holiday party points to white racists? Was it a Kwanzaa? Was it a Hanukka Party? Nope, it was a county holiday party. But based on all that CNN and MSNBC come to the conclusion this was a white racist event?

So what pointed Fox News to the terrorist conclusion. Simple, even though the police had not released the name of the male shooter, the name reportedly went over police scanners. The media picked up on it but refused to disclose it because they “didn’t want to speculate.” CNN and MSNBC spent hours speculating on white racism as the motive and had not problem with that. Fox News had the name, refused to call it terrorism, though suggested it, and only after the CAIR presser did Fox News stop holding back and called it what it was…an act of terrorism by a Radicalized Muslim.

What I found most interesting was the celebrity and political left tweets about GUNS. I wonder if these people even have a f*cking clue anymore. California just passed extensive background checks, already has magazine limits, and has bans on assault weapons. It’s easy to point to the gun because the ignorant masses are uninformed about these things, but honestly, it defeats their purpose and more importantly makes them look utterly and completely STUPID. Why? Because it proves the point of the pro gun side of the debate…PASS ALL THE LAWS YOU WANT, BUT CRIMINALS BREAK LAWS!!! These killers used assault weapons (banned in California, especially in LA) with 30 round magazines (banned in California), and obviously either passed a back ground check (California has one of the most extensive) or bought them off the street. So what gun law Mr. Obama, Mrs. Clinton, MSNBC, Hollywood douche bag, would have stopped this? The very laws you constantly call for are in place in California and guess what, as every gun rights person has said repeatedly only to be attacked by your crowd…THEY DON’T WORK!!!

And so the left mantra now is that there might have been “aggravating factors” i.e., an unsafe work place. Yes, because San Bernardino County doesn’t have safe zones, Syed and his girlfriend shot up the place. Wait, did we miss the gear they were wearing, the bombs, and the “go bags (I only know this via the military term of having extra ammo and gear for when the shit hits the fan).” Most people slighted at work who commit crimes like this show up with a pistol, rifle, or shotgun. They don’t come decked out in military grade assault gear, bullet proof vests, pipe bombs, truck filled with magazines, bombs, and “go bags.” That shit takes time, planning, and focus.

Yet the left wants to create the narrative when things like this occur rather than simply point to realities. Just this week Obama said that shootings like this “don’t occur in other countries.” Really? Funny how he said that in France. Funny he said that last week considering since Thanksgiving Day there have been FOUR mass shootings in Mexico costing an estimated 26 lives. Funny how he said that after 142 were killed in Mali. Funny considering that since 2004, the deaths caused by mass shootings like this in America still don’t compare to the 2011 Norway attacks where 71 people were killed. The point: America does not own mass shootings like this. It is a world wide problem that doesn’t go away with more restrictions on guns. If gun laws were the answer then you would not see these types of killings in places where they have extremely strict gun laws. Australia, Sweden, France, Great Britain, Chicago, California, Colorado…all have strict gun laws, but still these events occur.

Yes, the frequency even shocks the shit out of me, but why should I be shocked at these events, when mass shootings in the American ghetto are taking place every night. We are shocked by the frequency only because they are taking place in middle town America. The reaction of the left when they occur, and I’m just going to say it, verges on racism. They rant and rave when it occurs, but are dead silent about the slaughter of minority youth in the inner city. Oh sure, they can easily get behind shit like Black Lives Matter because it places a focus on the police. Recently there has been outrage, protests, and crocodile tears from the death of a 17 years old shot by a cop 16 times in Chicago. Oh, I’ve seen the video and this cop deserves to be in jail, HOWEVER, the same night this one kid was killed by that police officer…four other kids were killed not too far from that scene in the Southside. As as the protestors were marching down Miracle Mile about this kid, just a week earlier a little girl was found shot in an alley just blocks from where this kid was killed…execution style. Yet silence from the left, silence from the politicians and celebrities, and silence from Black Lives Matter.

What hurts the left most about this, as evidenced by the early reporting of CNN and MSNBC, is that this killing f*cked their narrative. On Friday, the narrative was alive and well after a sick f*ck killed three people at a Planned Parenthood clinic. White and an anti-abortionist…the lefts wet dream mass killer. This one though they hate, and don’t be shocked how quickly the silence will come and how fast CNN, and especially MSNBC, move on when it is beyond any doubt that this was a terrorist attack. Because it confirms what the right has been warning about while the left attacks them for their “racism.” We have seen this over and over again in the past couple of years. A devout radicalized Muslim kills and the story is switched to work place violence (Fort Hood) or is simply scrubbed off the front page and forgotten about (Navy Recruiting Station).

Yes, I admit, we need to have a discussion about gun violence in this nation, but conversation needs to stop being based on sides of the political aisle and Political Correctness. We need to come to terms with facts: Gun laws don’t stop killers, Radicalized Muslims are a threat, mental health needs to be reformed, and yes, we as Americans need to be aware of the world in which we live. If mass shootings is the frequency, then putting band aids on it needs to stop being the go to answer. We need Public Service announcements on how we, the civilian population can protect ourselves, because be it a white hater, mentally ill prick, or radical Muslim, the threat is now reality and we need to deal with it.

Here We Go Again

coloOn Friday I received a text from my brother asking me an odd question: “What the hell is up with Colorado.” I had no idea what he was talking about. My brother has been to Colorado once, it was December and cold and he has since shit talked this state because of that one experience. So I assumed, because it was cold and snowing when he texted me, that was what he was talking about. It wasn’t. He was referring to the shooting that took place in Colorado Springs.

Since I have lived in Colorado, moving here in the summer of 2000, there have been numerous cases dealing with shootings. Of course Columbine took place before I moved here, but since then there was the shooting in Aurora, a crazed killer who entered a school and executed students, a freeway sniper attack this past summer,  and two shootings in Colorado Springs in the past month.

On the surface is seems like a very freightening place to live. However when you look at the sum total of these “mass killings, they pale in comparison to say Chicago. Those cases I mentioned a total of 28 people have been killed in these attacks over 14 years. In 2014 438 people were killed in shootings. In the past 14 years in Chicago 3,201 people have been killed in Chicago…the victims of shootings. During the 4th of July weekend 38 people were shot, 19 of which were killed. When you look at those kinds of numbers, Colorado comes out as a damn safe place to live.

I had no idea what was going on in Colorado Springs and as more reports came in about the shooting, I honestly shook my head and said to myself, “here we go again.” Why? White Male! Right Winger? Planned Parenthood! And of course…Assault Weapon! All the key words began to roll in and I knew the hail storm of the left was soon to follow and it didn’t take long for the pundits to chime in. And suddenly I began to notice the key word being used by all of them…THE RHETORIC OF THE RIGHT.

According to the talking heads, celebs, and left of center politicians the blame for this latest shooting was not the mental capacity of this guy (and by every single account I have see this guy was a whack job), but the rhetoric of the right. I saw a tweet by Bette Milder mentioning, then of course our illustrious governor Hickenlooper talked about it in his speech about the shooting (going almost far enough to suggest the 1st Amendment needed to be put in question). So I was left with a question….What rhetoric? What is this damning rhetoric that the left believes led this man to decide to take lives on Friday?

Well it came down to abortion and Planned Parenthood. Based on those who are repeating the word I made those two connections. So what is the rhetoric of the right about these two issues? 1. Abortion is wrong. Of course that is “hateful” rhetoric in the ears of the left. The pro-abortion side condemn any calls for regulation or straight abolition of the practice and consider any mention of such “anti-woman” or “anti-rights.” And, I’m sorry, for me, listening to these talking heads, what I am reading into their wording is this: Any talk of anti-abortion should be silenced because, after, such talk drives the whack jobs to murder.

The second of course is Planned Parenthood. During the summer damning proof was released in a series of videos that showed Planned Parenthood profiting from selling the body parts of aborted babies. This practice, by nearly every state and federal law, is illegal. If you actually watch the videos instead of forming your opinions on them based on what you heard from the ladies on The View or Feminist Groups, you would see that enough evidence, no strike that, all the evidence you need to show that Planned Parenthood clinics were profiting from aborted babies is there. Of course the main stream media never showed the videos or clips of them, and even CBS today lied and said that the videos had been “debunked.” Not true. Currently 11 states have begun investigations into the allegations, and if it was so “debunked” why did the President of Planned Parenthood come out an apologize for the conduct of her own employees on these video tapes?

But, because the left and Mainstream Media (MSM) chose to ignore these videos and the right (FOX, Drudge, etc) did not, of course it is the fault of these media organizations for creating the “rhetoric” that led to this mans shooting spree. Gov. Hickenlooper said it himself. The “rhetoric” of blogs and right wing media needs to be toned down.” Well I watch Fox News and I read Drudge everyday. Here is what I didn’t see…anyone calling for criminal action or for someone to take a gun and shoot up these clinics. What I did see however, repreatedly, was a call for the Justice Department to investigate, not file charges mind you, the allegations made in the videos. Of course this is something the Obama Justice Department would never do…after this is the same DOJ that continue to lie about Fast and Furious, file charges against sanctuary cities, investigate the IRS and VA, and the list goes on and on. For so long the DOJ was to be a political free department, but it has shown under this president that anything that challenges the left is hands off.

Let’s stick with rhetoric though. If the rhetoric of the right is to blame for the incident in Colorado Springs, then can we say that the rhetoric of the left is responsible for the rash of police assassinations that have taken place since this summer? After all it was the Black Lives Matter people who have chanted “No Justice No Peace” and the famous “Pigs in a blanket fry like bacon.” Can we also blame the rhetoric of the left for the 2007 shooting at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs that left 3 dead? New Life Church publicly decried gay marriage and the rhetoric of the left attacked the stance of this church on a continuous basis. Or how about the recent shootings in Oregon that left ten dead. After all, this crazed gun man went about executing people after asking them if they were Christian.

If you say yes, the left should take the blame for their rhetoric that might have inspired these killings then I will at least give you credit for being fair. If you say no, then can you also say “Double Standard.” If the inflamatory rhetoric of one side is to blame for a mass shooting, then surely it must be the same for the other side.

Let’s take a pause and ask this question: What is the end game of this sort of blame game. Oh sure, the left would surely love to have and end to any talk against abortion, but that is NEVER going to happen…that is unless the end game is just saying fuck it and deleting the 1st and 2nd Amendment’s all together. Is it a revertion the the ideology introduced in 1984 where we have word police? Or maybe Fahrenheit 451 were we begin burning books? Or maybe Brave New World where population are controlled by the state and the need for abortion simply goes away?

This is what has scared me so much over the past seven years. The political correctness of this nation has gotten out of hand, where now we blame speech for the actions of crazy fuckers in this world. If you have a group out there telling people to go out and kill in the name of abortion or gay marriage right, then damn right those people need to be prosecuted with the laws that forbid such speech. You can not insight violence with your speech, but that is not what is taking place on the right of the left. People reporting, discussing, debating issues is not insighting violence and when you begin to step down that slippery slope of suggesting that, then you fall directly in to the abolishment of the 1st Amendment that, yes, protects speech, but also the press.

We as a nation need to fear such talk and speak out against even the suggestion of silencing speech, even speech we disagree with. I make no qualms in admitting my conservative leanings, but never would I want to silence the other side. When we, as a nation, begin to head down that direction, we create the scary realities of Orwell, Bradbury, and Huxley.

In the end this was a sick man who took it upon himself to take lives. Whatever inspired him makes no difference, what matters is that he was a sick fuck who killed innocent people for no other reason than to kill. Sure it makes good fodder for the media to suggest otherwise, but sometimes the simple answer is the one we need to accept.


soakedinbleachMy Thoughts: I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard the news. I was sitting in my living room arranging my cd’s in my case, and the breaking news came on MTV “Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of Nirvana was found dead of an apparent suicide in his home in Seattle.”

What Nirvana meant to me. I’d love to say that for me Nirvana meant a break, a rebellion against the formatted music that was the 1980’s. That wasn’t the case. I liked them because they tore shit up and were loud. It has been said that Cobain spoke to a generation through his lyrics. Not for me. Sure I like his lyrics, but they didn’t mean shit to me. I loved the guitar riffs, the screaming, the pounding of the drums, and a bass riffs. In fact, it wasn’t until his death and reading the numerous books that I learned half of the lyrics of the songs (especially Nevermind), and still laugh my ass off when people play so much into his lyrics, when, according to Cobain himself, he wrote most of the songs on his way to the recording studio. No deep messages. No hidden codes. No generational call to arms. Just a dude who could write and put words to music and did so minutes before heading into record songs.

No, Cobain was not some guru in my life, but I loved his music and his death hit hard. It’s the same feeling I had when Brad Nowell of Sublime died. It really wasn’t the loss of the singer that hit, what hit hard was knowing the music died with them. In the years since Cobain and Nowell’s death albums have been released of their cut tracks, songs that never made it to albums, live sets, etc. But in those there is something missing. In those cut tracks and recording room floor releases, you can hear where they were in terms of their music when they were recorded, and you know that they had progressed passed that on the last albums they released. The sense of loss is the reality that you’ll never get the chance to see where they could have gone and what would have become of them and their bands. Break-up like the Beatles? Reunion tours like the Stones? Continuation of the music for the deep thinker crowd like Pearl Jam? Continuous tours like the Grateful Dead? Or remaining relevant by reinventing themselves like Green Day or Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Like most people of my generation, the news I received and paid attention to back in the day came from MTV. And like most, the reports I got about Cobain’s death came from Kurt Loder. And through the death and morning, I learned what I could from a singular source. Like most, the question I had was why? Why would someone with so much kill themselves? It never made since to me. Fuck man, if you’re tired of making music quit. You wouldn’t be the first or the last person who would have done that. Yet, as the replayed recording of Courtney reading the suicide note, that was it, that was the reason. He wanted to go out on top rather than fade away.

The narrative was established and love moved on. Other bands tried to capitalize on the whole Grunge scene, but it never really worked, and so the power that be did away with the word “Grunge” and replaced it with “Alternative.” I like everyone else moved on. Oh sure, there were the anniversaries that came with the release of new albums and box sets, and yes I bought them all. However, there was a certain sadness in all of it. Not the mourning the loss kind of sadness, but a sadness of realizing there were people milking the fuck out of this dudes death as much as they could, and I was buying into it all.

I will admit, for the longest time I followed the conspiracy theories surrounding Cobain’s death. I read a couple of books about his life, and some that dealt with the possibility of his death being murder, and for a while there I was fixated on it. Then I just moved on. Why? Not a big fan of conspiracy theories in the first place because I see people who get some deep bat shit crazy into them and just have better things to do with my time.

And then I watched “Soaked in Bleach” on Netflix last night, and I can honestly say I am more convinced than ever that Kurt Cobain’s death was not as cut and dry as it was portrayed in the media and history, and that Courtney Love knew more about his death, even going so far as to say she had something to do with it. If you have not watched it, are a fan of Nirvana, you have to watch it and decide for yourself if there is a there there.

The film centers around Tom Grant, a former LAPD detective turned private investigator hired by Courtney Love days before Cobain’s death, to find him. Early on in his investigation he began to  feel something wasn’t right and began recording everything: His discussions with Courtney, his talks with those close to Kurt, the Cobain’s lawyer, etc. And, when you listen to the tapes, and watch the film you start to see a pattern emerge…the intention wasn’t finding Cobain, but to create the idea that the search was on…knowing full well the search was over before it began. So I will break down the key point that convinced me that the case needs to be reopened and Courtney Love should be investigated.

  1. The amount of heroin found in Cobain’s body at the time of death. 3 times the amount that would be lethal to a heavy user. Why is that important? According to the suicide theory Kurt injected himself with 3 times the amount of Heroin to kill a normal man, then was able to coordinate a shotgun and kill himself? Every person interviewed on this agreed with one thing…it couldn’t be done. In 1997 a documentary was released, “Kurt and Courtney” that proved it could. Someone with the same amount of “heroin” as Cobain was shown to be able to stand on one foot. Problem: They weren’t on heroin, they were on methadone, which is ingested and not shot up.
  2. The investigators report that Cobain was “barricaded” in the room where he killed himself. However the EMT first responder to the scene refutes that claim and states that there was NO obstruction to the room. Even the crime scene photos prove that. Furthermore the investigation states that the door was locked from the inside and no once could have entered the room. But it was a twist lock, easily locked by anyone leaving the room.
  3. The story of his suicide was supported by his “attempted” suicide in Rome. However, the stories after the incident in Rome where not about suicide, but an accident. The doctor who treated Cobain flat out denied that it was a suicide attempt. The narrative changed from accident to suicide attempt the day after Cobain was found dead. Who was the first to say that? Courtney. Even more damning is this: Two days before the “incident” in Rome Cobain contacted his lawyer Rosemary Carroll and told her to remove Courtney from his will and that he wanted to discuss “divorce” when he returned to LA. Two days later her is rushed to the hospital after ingesting wine and a muscle relaxer Rohypnol . It was reported that the muscle relaxer was something Cobain was using for his “continuing” stomach problems (another reason for his suicide), but in a Rolling Stone interview prior to leaving on the European tour, Cobain said that the stomach issues had been taken care of and had not had any issues “For over a year.”
  4. Dylan Carlson. He was supposedly a “close friend of Kurt’s and was working with Grant while looking for Cobain in Seattle. Dylan was the one who registered the shotgun for Cobain “after a break-in.” Dylan, and every single one of Cobain’s close friends, repeatedly said Kurt was not suicidal, never mentioned being depressed or suicidal, was stoked about working with  R.E.M lead singer Michael Stipe, and mentioned divorce. Dylan was a heroin addict, got his drugs through Kurt’s Seattle dealer, and sponged off Kurt and Courtney. Courtney refused to talk to Grant while he was in Seattle and would only go through Dylan. The night before Cobain was found dead, Grant and Dylan entered the home looking for Kurt and the shotgun. They did not find either, and left. However, they searched the whole house except one area…the Greenhouse. The Greenhouse, according to medical records, where Kurt Cobain was. Grant and Dylan are following a lead the next day. Dylan makes a call and hears about Cobain’s body being found. He tells Grant, “They found Kurt’s body at the house in the greenhouse.” Grant was livid and questioned why Dylan never mentioned the greenhouse while they were at the house, and Dylan says, “Courtney told me not to take you up there.” (All of this recorded by Grant)
  5. Courtney, days after the death, claims she found a second letter from Kurt. She claims the note was found in their Seattle bed, under the pillows. However, Grant calls her out on this. Why? Because the night before Cobain was found, Grant was in the home, in that room, and over turned that very bed, pillows and all, looking for the shotgun. No gun was found, no letter was there, but pills were…Rohypnol, the same muscle relaxers that Kurt OD’d on in Rome.
  6. Michael “Cali” Dewitt. Who was he? He was a live in male nanny for Kurt and Courtney. He lived in the Seattle home. Had formerly dated Courtney, and was in Rome when Cobain had his “incident.” When Grant entered the Cobain home the night before, he found a note, written by Cali, placed on the stairs of the home. The note is a “plea” for Kurt to call Courtney and let her know he was ok. Grant and Rosemary Carroll both question the validity of the note. Cali could not be found in Seattle. Grant repeatedly requested from Courtney to put him in contact with Cali. She refused at first, then said she would try, but never followed through with it. Cali turns up in LA with Courtney the day before Cobain is found dead.
  7. The shotgun shell. A spent shell is found to the left of Kurt’s body, but the way the gun was positioned it should have ejected to the left. Investigators suggest the gun spun in Cobain’s hand after he pulled the trigger explaining where the shell wound up. Problem: Cobain had what is known as a “death grip” on the barrel of the gun. There was no way the gun could have “flipped” because of the grip.
  8. It was reported by MTV and the press that Kurt’s mother had filed a missing person report. However, that was not true. In fact, it was Courtney who filed the report and used his mother’s name. She hoped that by using his mother’s name Kurt “would contact us.”
  9. It was reported by MTV and the press that Cobain had taken his license out of his wallet so the police could identify his body. Not true. The police found the wallet, pulled out the ID, placed it on the wallet for photos. In fact, according to the EMT first responder, there was no problem identifying who the body belonged to, which “fascinated” him because, unlike most shotgun wounds that tear away the skull and face, this was not the case with Kurt.
  10. The investigation. Grant and Dylan show up to the house as the police are inside. Grant asks to speak to the lead investigator because he had been in the house the night before. Instead of speaking to someone who had been inside the home like any cop would, he told him, “he didn’t have time to speak to him and he could call him after 3pm that day.” When Grant confronted the lead investigator with questions about the “barricade” lie and Courtney’s recordings, the investigator became non responsive and told him the investigation was closed. That same detective resigned 3 months later rather than being fired for wrongful investigation practices. 3 more important facts: The crime scene photos were never processed or developed, the coroner’s report has never been made public, and even the Chief of Police for Seattle during the time of Cobain’s death says the case “Needs to be reopened.”
  11. The suicide note. The only indication that the note is a suicide note are the last lines of the note. When Courtney visited Rosemary Carroll, she left a backpack. Inside was piece of paper with a bunch of letters scribbled on it. According to forensic investigators, the letters on that page match almost 100% to those on the suicide note…not the body of it, but the last lines of the note. According to the same forensic investigator the lines prior to the “end” lines are vastly different in tone and writing, the last lines are hastily written and don’t “fit the tone” of the body of the letter.
  12. Kristen Pfaff. Who is she? She was the bassist for Courtney Love’s band “Hole.” By all accounts, she and Cobain were also close, maybe going so far as having an affair. When Love hired Grant, one of the first things she said was that she was “sure” he was Pfaff. Two months after Cobain’s death, June 1994, Pfaff informed Love that she was leaving Hole and returning to her Minneapolis band Janitor Joe. She returned to Seattle to gather the rest of her things, had a packed Uhaul, and was leaving in the morning. She didn’t leave. Instead she was found in her locked bathroom dead of an apparent heroin overdose. The amount and circumstance of her death were eerily similar to those of Cobain. Problem: In February of 1994 Pfaff entered detox and had been clean. Her break with Hole was a “break of the lifestyle and the drug use.” So this woman, who, by every account of friends, family, and new bandmates,  was celebrating her sobriety returned to Seattle for two days, decided to inject herself with a double shot of heroin?
  13. Even the biggest skeptics who have in the past called Tom Grant a “Conspiracy Theorist” have changed their tune. Why? Because Grant has made his thousands of hours of recordings available to all who wish to listen to them. Grant created a webpage for any other skeptics who wish to hear the tapes and read his investigation notes and his case that Kurt Cobain was murdered and did not commit suicide. www.cobaincase.com

You can decide for yourself where you stand after watching the documentary, but personally, I finished believing that the death of Kurt Cobain was not a cut a dry suicide case. I have no idea if Courtney Love was involved, but I will say I believe she was. I have no idea how it was done, but that is not for me to figure out. That is the job of the Seattle police department, and hopefully with this Documentary and new evidence, the case will be reopened.

The obvious question is why? Why bring all this up again? Personally I want to know. I want a “conspiracy theory” to finally be put to rest once and for all. Pure and simple. I want to know for sure it was 100% a suicide or if it was murder. The only way for this to happen is for 1. The corner report should be released. The crime scene photos should be developed and released. 3. The Tom Grant tapes should be investigated by Seattle police with a focus on the Dylan, Carroll, and Love tapes. 4. The Seattle Police Department reopens the case and does all of the above things and come to a final conclusion. End the theories once and for all or indict those responsible. Pure and simple.